Cringing

It took so much not to over think my decision with picking my Thesis Mentor and Readers.  As if I could take all the credit . . . It's done.  I made a much needed choice, as much as I would have wanted to stretch the decision out.  I went ahead, thought about -- thought some more, and then submitted the list.  Officially I am paper ready for my last full semester as an MFA student.  Mentally, officially, I am nowhere near prepared.  Not that that has anything to do with my previous instructors (it doesn't), but it's all in my head.  I hope.  And on the second thought, I hope it has nothing to do with my mind, but that it's a small glitch that is creating second guessing techniques.

Coming to terms with thinking of a new Mentor is draining, yet I imagine it's worse for the Mentor deciding who to work with.  Let's just hope my staggering disbelief in myself isn't showing up in the thoughts of others.

Dead(lines)

If you haven't noticed, there always seems to be quite a gap between my posts.  I've been trying to put my thoughts onto the white space more frequently -- besides what I write for school.  I'm getting there . . .

Most of my time is spent trying to dominate the multitasking and perfectionist side of my being -- which enables me to just focus on what I believe needs tackling the most.  But with my newest blog, Traveling To Me: The Road towards Living (a Dream), I decided to capture each step -- my total process of getting things done -- even the harshest moments.  *spoiler alert*

I will be writing some of the most personal journeys I have taken, am in the process of taking and that I am still in the midst of.  But don't worry, not every writer or composer goes ONLY into the dark.  There is always a ray of sun, somewhere -- lurking, beyond the dark forest in our minds -- those times when life seems bleak, and something pushes towards that breaking point . . . Push back!  There IS a way out.  I am going to try and NOT fright myself from talking about those moments.  And of course, the positive ones too.

 

 

Maybe in the next post I'll write about what made me want to become a writer (of all things: music, poetry, stage, screen, essays; stories).  So, get ready, there will be posts galore -- sooner than you can imagine.  And this time, I'm writing from my core. 

I'm going to leave you with this -- Brain-Matter-Double-Exposure- Song that inspired this blog. To get you in the realm of learning more about me and my writing.