Sensory at its best . . .

Wonderful things happen when a hiatus occurs.  Right?  Well, that quite possibly could be one way to look at it.  I mean, how else could I fathom an excuse of not being online for such a long time?  Perhaps I was trying to gather my thoughts, in an attempt to create the BEST POST EVER . . . Maybe it was because I was doing ample research for a new opportunity that just caused me to ponder . . . Whatever it has been, has indeed made the thoughts forcefully purge themselves into a new blog.  So, I guess those absent days were worth it.

It has been almost one year since my last blog post.  I've written new material.  I've even managed to get a few songs posted on my YouTube site.  And yet, it is only now that I've sat down and written a few words to my literary community.  Shocking!

As I sit at this library desktop, listening to myself play "Revising The Days"  (shamelessly promoting myself), I become intrigued at what I've put myself through -- in regards to my writing.  These past few months have been a transition, both geographically, job wise and everything that goes along with it.  But I've stayed positive through it all.  I tell myself, just what I told you all:  those absent days at what I initially LOVE, have been worth it; it will work out in the long run; I just have to persevere; I'm destined for much more than what I'm currently attached to; and that there's only so many more weeks/months until I'm right where I need to be.

Funny that that could have been my mentality post high school, undergrad or even post grad.  And yet months later from that, I sit here, thinking about my future.  Thinking of where I want.  No, NEED to be.  And how long it will take me to get there.  Patience.  That's where I stand right now.  I stand on the preparation side of things, waiting until it lines up.  And although I understand that things don't always go according to plan (I've learned from quite the experiences), I plan anyway.

So, that's what I'm doing, in order to make myself feel better about not going all out on my dreams.  About not posting enough music videos on my YouTube account.  About not posting more blogs on this site.  And about not getting to my ideal destination fast enough.  I plan.  And one day, I'll be blogging from where my plans have met up.

But until then . . . that's what's going on. 

Between Nothing

Holding on to something that isn't there?  Questions seem to be what continue running through your head whenever you're trying to escape.  Escape the fact you have NO answers to them.

Why is it that when you close your eyes, in an attempt to concentrate on change, nothing does?  And when you open those same eyes, everything is passing?  Except your own thoughts.

Is it a disorder that plagues my mind, and drives my stability wild?  Is it beyond frustration which pushes my thoughts over the edge?  I don't know.  This late evening/early morning I sit here, in full regret.  Trying to change these thoughts, but at the same time knowing it would be easier, and maybe better if I did what they are telling me . . . I fight it.  I try to anyway.  Feelings of being a disappointment.  I stay awake planning my own demise.  I plan to be free someday.  But that someday lurks in the back of my mind.  Each day I feel this way, and walk out like I'm fine . . . I'm not fine.  And when I return I know I want to to be.  Closeness, which some people long for, I dread.  Because just the thought of a nearing touch shocks me to the core.  Like a debilitating punch to the heart.   I hide it very well.  Some people don't bring that out of me.  But it's all too often I sit in the dark, wanting nothing.  Nothing but for the darkness to continue.  Until my senses break down, and I am emotionless.

Going from happy to sad in such a short span, and not wanting to stay in the happy -- I'm over it.  I've come to the point where I feel I made enough of an impact to now be free.  And I want to really want that.  Yet I feel torn with letting those I love down.  And then the vicious hatred of myself and the disappointment come back in.  I've failed to be free.  I've failed to live up to my expectations.  Not that life is too bad to continue, and I'm giving up.  But I've decided I don't want to continue wasting precious moments where other people can live, love and be happy, without thinking of me.  I know that sadness for some people arrive and disappear.  For me it lingers.  But for those who can turn that switch off, my leaving won't destroy them as much as staying (for me) would.

These thoughts border between action and nothing.  So I continue contemplating until a decision is made.  Until then, I leave myself with these words from Secondhand Serenade:

"So please let me be free from you.  Please let me be free.  I can face the truth . . . "

Much Love,

~Kyra C.

Originality, where have you gone?

I've been away from "pop culture" for awhile now.  I do not own a television, and haven't for a few months.  I also do not listen to the radio, unless it's on when I'm out in public.  So, when logging onto my Facebook, it seems like being bombarded with images and posts of what the world has been up to, and I've blocked myself away from.  Not that it's a bad thing.  But in this day and age, not knowing what's going on, besides checking the news sites and newspaper is like taking yourself away from the real world.  Not originally my interpretation.  But I'm sure it's being said somewhere.

I log onto Facebook, and there's a song/video, which apparently has been number one on some list(s) for a few weeks or so.  Nothing new there . . . And I take a listen/watch the video just to see what the hype is.  It's found here, http://music-mix.ew.com/2013/11/20/christina-aguilera-great-big-world-say-something-video/

I think the song is okay.  However the visuals?  The scenes in the video just got me thinking.  Why is it that whenever there is a song that just so happens to have ballad-like chords, ie. a piano or guitar, there is either a sappy couple, a sad looking animal, a distraught child and/or an elderly couple -- likely married -- where one is on the brink of death?  I only ask this question, because in the day and age of millions of music videos that seemingly rip off each others concepts, there truly isn't a force of originality out there.

Again, not saying the song is bad.  Or that this doesn't work . . .  But let's take away Christina Aguilera's sauntering into the room, while a piano is played.  Let's also take away the piano playing male singer, and strictly focus on the story through images.  What is being told?  What is new, which we haven't already seen?  Is there a reason why duplicating said images in most videos is done ONLY to pressure a feeling that constantly happens when people are pushed towards emotional recall?  And if that's the case, why not just let the song speak for itself?  After all, interpretation is what ties each listener to a specific song or lyric.

I love music videos -- artistic ones, and even some which I've seen done numerous times.  But when are these templates at the point of overly used?  Can't we as artists, directors, writers (also artistically driven) think beyond that same template?  Don't we have the courage to think outside the proverbial box and make our own standard.

They say "imitation is the greatest form of flattery," but I would like to think creation, coinciding with originality is where the greatest form shall lie.  I've seen it done before.  Just lately not as much.

Or maybe I should dive back into the world of social media . . . find another video, and cry along with its imagery.  Besides, that is what the director intended.  Right?
---------------------------------------------                                ----------------------------------------------
**Yes, I do understand we've all duplicated something once.  And that there are templates for a reason.  And yes, I also understand their need and also ours when creating for the masses.  Alas, I too, have fell victim of those same practices before (in other material).  But I know when NOT to use them.  Or do I?**

Nathan Bransford, Author: How to Know You're a Writer (In GIF Form)

Nathan Bransford, Author: How to Know You're a Writer (In GIF Form): Any time you're not writing your novel you're still thinking about your novel: When people ask you for your thoughts on their...

Just Do It . . .

You can sit inside a coffee shop -- where you're going to begin to reek of coffee beans.  You can constantly make lists -- which slowly get checked off.  Or, you can just get back to work.  Now, I'm not totally speaking of procrastination.  I'm talking about that little urge one gets when they're half focused and half perturbed at not being completely there.  I'm talking about the minute when you're working on something and then you lose your work, before hitting SAVE.  I'm discussing the moment when your deadline hits and it's already the next day.  Nike has a motto for continuance.  Right?  Well, that crap doesn't always work.  "Just do it . . ."  That only works when complete concentration is there.  It only works when you want it badly.

Getting work done, means putting in the work.  It means sucking it up, and just doing it.  When your recording a song, it means -- take after take, keep going until it's where it needs to be.  If you're working on a blog post (hey there), it means to continue writing until you hit, "publish," and you're fine with the outcome.  Although for some of us writers, you're never really all that happy with the outcome -- not entirely.  And lastly, for those of us that write larger pieces -- it's about starting, no matter how early or late, and continuing until you feel that click inside -- that part that says, YOU'VE GOT IT . . . KEEP GOING.  When you make it to that moment, that's when no time frame, no smell of coffee beans, and no abundantly insane lists make you cringe.  That's when you know you can do it.  That's when Nike makes a valid point.  That's the moment in where you can't think of anything else, but to keep writing.  And you do.  You Just Do It.

Stopping to save lives?

So, what happened to me today? 

I guess there is a reason behind being in the right place at the right time.  Less than one hour ago (around 6:45pm or 7:00pm), while biking back -- taking my normal route -- I spotted something strange happening.  No, the immovable traffic was not that . . .  Well, not entirely.  No, I witnessed stopped traffic, because there was a guy behind the wheel of a KIA, trying to go onto the freeway, from the exit ramp.  Yes, bizarre, I know.  But that wasn't the weirdest part.  The most surreal part was, get this, no one wanted to help.  Instead, everyone's first reaction was to just blow their horns and proceed to scream at the unaware, elderly gentleman.

Not me, however -- I didn't know it before my bike trip, but I guess I was ready for anything.  I jumped off my bike, once I crossed the intersection -- and walked up to the mans car.  Fortunately his passenger window was slightly down, so I could get my words to him.  I stayed with him, trying to calm him down.  He didn't have to show it, but I knew he had to be terrified:  everyone staring at him, mostly because he was going onto ongoing exit ramp freeway traffic, but also because this was out of the norm.  I spoke ever so gently, trying to ease his mind.  While also keeping an eye on the cars that were unsure what was going on.  I asked questions, just as if my American Red Cross training kicked in -- just in time.  Yes, I knew how to check if someone was incoherent, and no, just because he was trying to enter an exit ramp, did not justify my assessment.  I continued to ask him question after question.  I made sure to assure the other drivers that I was doing something to hopefully prevent him from crashing into ANYONE. 

Well, lets just say the questions were answered in a round-about way, where everything was done with a "yes," and head nod.  Obviously he wasn't okay.  And neither was the situation.  Even some of the stopped traffic goers -- the non douchebag ones (who yelled at the guy, and myself) offered and did call the Police.  I called too.  Hey, the more officers, the better.  Because I had been there for such a long time, I guess people began to think I was part of the situation.  And partially that was correct.  I was trying to prevent any harmful ordeal. 

After about 10 minutes of getting the elderly gentleman to look at me, and stop his car -- leading into him putting his car back in drive and inching up ever so frighteningly, I had had enough of my own bartering.  I had to make a defensive choice.  And this was completely imposing to him -- but I had to enter his vehicle (good thing it was unlocked) without his permission.  I had asked him to either put his car in Reverse, or Park -- but with his mental state, he'd just go back into Drive every few moments.

So, I asked one more time, and then I just went in.  I opened his door, realized his car was an Automatic -- I quickly put his car in Park and took his keys out of the ignition.  After that, I knew it would be okay -- for the other cars.  But for him, I was still unsure.  Officer Baldwin of the FHPD arrived on the scene in a good amount of time, and that's when I could release my first breath of fresh air.  A trained person had shown up.  Officer Baldwin came over, and I told him what happened (what I just told you guys), and then I gave him the keys.  He told me what I wasn't even thinking at that moment:  that I might have saved someones life.  Especially since it looked as if nobody else wanted to step up and do the right thing.  That by comforting the elderly man, and quickly taking action, I made sure no damage occurred. 

I didn't leave once the officer arrived.  I made sure to stay with the gentleman until the combined Fire Rescue and Ambulance showed up.  And even after that, I waited with him, right up until they loaded him onto a stretcher and into the EMS.  If he didn't think he had anyone, he had me. 

Gawkers . . . It amazes me how many times we see gawkers and get mad that they're holding up the flow of traffic, yet we never think about why it's happening.  Or whether the people halting the traffic are trying to make a difference . . . It's just fascinating.  Don't you think? 

On the way back from biking another 12 miles . . . I was just in the right place at the right time. 

I guess that's the good thing about taking a bike, instead of a car . . .

Layered

 

This is what most people think of, when they think of children:  an open space; a jungle gym; a peaceful day.  And yet it's empty.  There are no inhabitants.  Nothing but wildlife to run a muck   The way that it was originally intended to be.  A preserve for those who were here prior to the construction of pieced land.  Animals sneaking their way into the grass, flying so low, so that they can have what humans have made theirs.  Almost as if that small patch is their journey home.  Like Dorothy, just hoping to find their way back.  Back into their reality:  nature.  Untouched by human hand or machine.  Preserved, and still reserved for their rights.  To roam, jump, fly, or climb, just like any other human (minus the flying -- unless on a swing  :-p).

Inspiration comes from Dedication

Wow, I can honestly say, this Act II revision is going insane.  And definitely in a good way.  I am scraping so many of my original material, and starting fresh -- just in time to hit SEND and submit my very last assignment for my Third MFA semester.  I have been given such a huge push of motivation, after hearing of my Mentor's Writing Binge.  I'm guessing that's the way I'm going to attack my Fall Residency manuscripts -- which are soon approaching.  Two new files to send, and then it's back to reading hundreds and hundreds of pages of scripts, prose and whatnot.  AWESOME.  I'm beyond stoked.  In exactly five weeks I'll be on another adventure.  One that I've been waiting for, for such a long time.  Now, back to work.  Because I get my cues from my Mentor -- I'm only taking this short break, and then it's back to finishing this assignment, even stronger than I started!

Pushing the Pedal(s)

Another day of Insanity.  Another day with a new-ish workout regiment, including supplements.  And another day of pushing myself to the limit, by including way more cardio than I should have ever thought of doing.  Not that I can't get it done.  But, after already doing one hour of Insanity and extra exercises that I've created, I decide to go for a 15 mile bike ride.  Granted the morning workouts give me so much needed energy to get through the day -- biking in heat with the sun baring down on me . . . Not the smartest thing to do.  Still, I feel great.  That is until I reach those HILLS.  The capitalization is what I feel when I lay eyes on them:  the death incline.  :-o  It's as if I begin to lose my energy just by glancing at the steepness.  At points I sit up higher, and push down even harder on the pedals.  Going.  Moving.  Getting a distance.  But then something happens.  I realize the wind is beginning to blow -- right at me.  So, I push harder.  Until I feel my tendons arguing with me.  Yes, my muscles talk.  Maybe I should listen?  :-p

I continue, but at a different pace.  I decide to move one pedal at a time.  This time, not overly exerting myself.  Yet in the process, I have absolutely NO speed, therefore I am almost at the point of going backwards down the incline.  So instead of making the partial trek almost unbearable, I just get off and walk the half way uphill, until I reach the top.  And after I get there, it's downhill AWESOMENESS.  That is, until I get to a driveway or blind spot area, where I know I'll have to quickly slow down, losing my speed, cut my thrill, and STOP.  Hoping my brakes get the memo, and do just that.  15 miles to accomplish, and I know on the way back, it's another set of hills.  And maybe even more sun.  Maybe I should have opted to just bike to the gym and do indoor cycling.  But there's just something about being out on the open road (minus the cars), iPod of bikeable tunes, and a clear mind.  There's something about losing yourself in the knowledge that you're just going for a ride.  Even if you've traveled that same path many times before, there's still a possibility of something new.  And who knows, you might just discover a new path.

So, you keep going.  Letting the road, wind, and music take you where you feel like going.  And after those 15 miles and early morning workouts, you feel like going, once more.

Out with the Old

I guess my high school reunion is going to be happening soon . . . Well, relatively soon, as in a few years.  I use to be under the impression one was to think about going to these things.  Like we were all waiting to see one another and catch up.  However, because of multiple social networking sites, there's really no need to go to one.  Granted it's a personal and face-to-face connection versus online communication -- still, hasn't one learned enough from the people they are waiting to meet up with?  Older people use to speak of how they hadn't seen their classmates for over 10+ years and how excited they were to be in the same room, again.  And that got me thinking:  Do I really want to waste my time being there?  Not that I wouldn't gain anything from attending.  I'm sure if I worked hard at trying, I could get something out of being there.  But unfortunately, there are no mysteries of reuniting with people whom you already know most things about.  Again, not that I'm saying everyone discusses EVERYTHING about themselves, and then posts that online -- but the majority of people who might attend, you've already been filled in with their life journey:  children, married, married with children, school, working, graduating, getting close to graduating, etc.  There aren't really that many other options, besides the human inevitable; ceasing to exist.

Welp, I guess that's my venting for now.  I'm going to go ahead and retreat from this blog, and get back to what I need to focus on:  Revisions and Submissions.  Oh, and hitting SEND.  I promise that in  the next blog, I'll be more forgiving . . .  :-p

Where'd that come from?

I've been doing Insanity for a few weeks now, and I can honestly say I'm seeing results. Not only have I become even more energetic (if that is at all possible), but I've also realized bruising on my arms (I don't like tanning, so it's extremely noticeable). Now, with the inclusion of my newest workout, diet and overall fitness changes, I'm a bit confused as to how these bruises are forming, especially when I don't feel them . . . I MUST figure this out, before my arm turns into one giant red bruise.

What am I up to these days?

Almost a year has passed . . .

 

Almost a year has passed since I posted a video on any social networking site.  Not that I have stopped making music -- I have just been preoccupied.  But not to worry (listeners of mine), I still write music and perform, so be on the look out for new material within the next few weeks.  This is going to be a very productive few months, all leading up to another MAJOR journey, which I am beyond excited for.  And yes, I will post about it, at a later date.  So for now, PLEASE enjoy my music, "Revising The Days," which is what I wrote after my last June Residency in Cambridge, MA.  Geez, just hearing it again, takes me back to the emotion I felt when writing/performing it.  I hope you all enjoy. 

 

P.S.  Listen with you ears AND your heart.  :-)

 

Much Love,

 

~Kyra C.

 

 

Weeks away from another change

It's April already, and it doesn't seem to be slowing down.  Unimaginably every semester seems to speed by.  Faster than each Residency.  Weird.  This semester has gone by SO fast, and in a mere few weeks it will come to a close.  I just cannot believe I've almost made it through my third semester of Grad school.  I say "almost," just because I have one major thing left to do:  finish Act II of my Full Length play.  Well, I guess I have more than one -- since if the second act turns out better than the first, I'll be rewriting Act I.  So, yeah, I've almost made it.  But that darn countdown to fourth semester is giving me a steady push to "get er done."  I just wish this semester wasn't ending so fast.  But, you can't have it both ways: a continuation of third semester (for a few more weeks) and the beginning of my final full semester as an MFA grad student.

The weeks will soon be blending into days, and with that change, gives me a reason to blissfully smile.  In a few weeks I'll be with my buddies, again.  I'll be in an environment where I can take in literary-awesomeness at its best.  I'll be able to push myself farther than I've done in the past.  Take chances.  Interact more.  Speak.  Show what I've learned.  And learn even more.  These changes are what I'm looking forward to making.  It's the end of April, and soon it will be the end of third semester -- the beginning of a fourth semester/residency . . . This will be my moment to make it happen.  No more shying away from things.  There's not much time, and change IS coming.  Hopefully within these last few weeks,  I'll feel that accomplishment and charge inside of me. 

Insanity and Hills

Today was another day of Insanity, and whoa, it's beyond intense! I'll elaborate further, but since I'm also coming back from the craziness of the outdoors: biking for 5+ miles in a rain/snow (yes, there was sleet) mixture, I'm going to refuel on some nutrients and H2O.

Speak soon.

Insanity, it's just that . . .

Shaun T.  is putting me through the wire with "Insanity."  Not that I wasn't aware of the craziness before I began the program, but, WOW.  I'm only a few days in and I can totally see how much this is kicking my butt.  I'm looking forward to completing the 60 days, especially since I changed my already Vegetarian diet, to a more intense one.  Let's just say I was happy with just eating Tofu, Tempeh, and Soy based food, and mostly once or twice a day was my food intake.  But now, I have to consume 5 meals a day.  Needless to say, this is bizarre for me.  I don't really enjoy food to begin with.  But because of the results I want to attain, I MUST eat.  Boo.  I guess it's not going to be easy (besides the fact it's called "Insanity.") 

Don't worry, I'll be posting short messages about what is going on.  Not all posts will be about "Insanity," but this week most will be.  Counting down the days until my final full Residency, which leads into my final full semester of MFA life -- which I've also managed to lump with this insane program.  I cannot wait for the moment where I can be where I need to be.  Progress, eh?  It's still happening. 

NEED YOU NOW (How Many Times) by Plumb (official lyric video)

After all the events that have transpired through the week, this song (below) seems right.

Unreal Connections

Have you ever met someone that you wished you could be close to?  Nothing too intimate -- just great friends?  Or better yet, have you ever become friends with someone you never in your mind imagined forming a connection with?  It's amazing how many great buddies you can make when you stop focusing on what you think you already know.  When you realize closed minded characteristics are what can cause a possibly good thing from happening.

Through my many travels, here and there -- mostly there, I've had many encounters with new faces, and by giving those people a chance, was able to form new friendships.  The strangely frightening moment of meeting someone new is when you're standing within distance of them and you feel the urge to make conversation, but have no idea as to what to say.  I mean, is there a commonality?  You know, besides you both being in the same place at the same time?

In the Midst of Two Homes

**Picture taken from the "Down with Detroit" Facebook page.**

L[ink]ed

This is part one of my newest history lesson . . . Part two will be done in a month or so. I just felt the need to incorporate more of what I love, including what makes me, me.  So, enjoy the pictures, dudes!  And FYI, yes, this is my arm (left to be precise.)