This . . . this is why I LOVE Mariska!

Watch the video below, and you'll see yet another reason why I LOVE Mariska Hargitay!

Stopping to save lives?

So, what happened to me today? 

I guess there is a reason behind being in the right place at the right time.  Less than one hour ago (around 6:45pm or 7:00pm), while biking back -- taking my normal route -- I spotted something strange happening.  No, the immovable traffic was not that . . .  Well, not entirely.  No, I witnessed stopped traffic, because there was a guy behind the wheel of a KIA, trying to go onto the freeway, from the exit ramp.  Yes, bizarre, I know.  But that wasn't the weirdest part.  The most surreal part was, get this, no one wanted to help.  Instead, everyone's first reaction was to just blow their horns and proceed to scream at the unaware, elderly gentleman.

Not me, however -- I didn't know it before my bike trip, but I guess I was ready for anything.  I jumped off my bike, once I crossed the intersection -- and walked up to the mans car.  Fortunately his passenger window was slightly down, so I could get my words to him.  I stayed with him, trying to calm him down.  He didn't have to show it, but I knew he had to be terrified:  everyone staring at him, mostly because he was going onto ongoing exit ramp freeway traffic, but also because this was out of the norm.  I spoke ever so gently, trying to ease his mind.  While also keeping an eye on the cars that were unsure what was going on.  I asked questions, just as if my American Red Cross training kicked in -- just in time.  Yes, I knew how to check if someone was incoherent, and no, just because he was trying to enter an exit ramp, did not justify my assessment.  I continued to ask him question after question.  I made sure to assure the other drivers that I was doing something to hopefully prevent him from crashing into ANYONE. 

Well, lets just say the questions were answered in a round-about way, where everything was done with a "yes," and head nod.  Obviously he wasn't okay.  And neither was the situation.  Even some of the stopped traffic goers -- the non douchebag ones (who yelled at the guy, and myself) offered and did call the Police.  I called too.  Hey, the more officers, the better.  Because I had been there for such a long time, I guess people began to think I was part of the situation.  And partially that was correct.  I was trying to prevent any harmful ordeal. 

After about 10 minutes of getting the elderly gentleman to look at me, and stop his car -- leading into him putting his car back in drive and inching up ever so frighteningly, I had had enough of my own bartering.  I had to make a defensive choice.  And this was completely imposing to him -- but I had to enter his vehicle (good thing it was unlocked) without his permission.  I had asked him to either put his car in Reverse, or Park -- but with his mental state, he'd just go back into Drive every few moments.

So, I asked one more time, and then I just went in.  I opened his door, realized his car was an Automatic -- I quickly put his car in Park and took his keys out of the ignition.  After that, I knew it would be okay -- for the other cars.  But for him, I was still unsure.  Officer Baldwin of the FHPD arrived on the scene in a good amount of time, and that's when I could release my first breath of fresh air.  A trained person had shown up.  Officer Baldwin came over, and I told him what happened (what I just told you guys), and then I gave him the keys.  He told me what I wasn't even thinking at that moment:  that I might have saved someones life.  Especially since it looked as if nobody else wanted to step up and do the right thing.  That by comforting the elderly man, and quickly taking action, I made sure no damage occurred. 

I didn't leave once the officer arrived.  I made sure to stay with the gentleman until the combined Fire Rescue and Ambulance showed up.  And even after that, I waited with him, right up until they loaded him onto a stretcher and into the EMS.  If he didn't think he had anyone, he had me. 

Gawkers . . . It amazes me how many times we see gawkers and get mad that they're holding up the flow of traffic, yet we never think about why it's happening.  Or whether the people halting the traffic are trying to make a difference . . . It's just fascinating.  Don't you think? 

On the way back from biking another 12 miles . . . I was just in the right place at the right time. 

I guess that's the good thing about taking a bike, instead of a car . . .

Layered

 

This is what most people think of, when they think of children:  an open space; a jungle gym; a peaceful day.  And yet it's empty.  There are no inhabitants.  Nothing but wildlife to run a muck   The way that it was originally intended to be.  A preserve for those who were here prior to the construction of pieced land.  Animals sneaking their way into the grass, flying so low, so that they can have what humans have made theirs.  Almost as if that small patch is their journey home.  Like Dorothy, just hoping to find their way back.  Back into their reality:  nature.  Untouched by human hand or machine.  Preserved, and still reserved for their rights.  To roam, jump, fly, or climb, just like any other human (minus the flying -- unless on a swing  :-p).

Fighting To Die (an original song)

**Disclaimer:  This is just a song!  The lyrics are meaningful, but in this time period, it's just a song.**

Fighting to Die (5:02)

Written by Kyra "Kacee/Klayster" Clay

(Guitar and Vocals-Kyra)

I can't take it anymore

Tried to break it down to it's core

Living proof, death still lives

Fighting down inside, fighting down inside

Fighting down inside

So, kill me quick

Make it sick

Fill your regret with remorse

Let me quit the fight, I'm ready to die

I wanted reality

But people played with me

I wanted a way from you

You kept showing up

Little by little

My breath slipped away, from you

So kill me quick

Make it sick

Fill your regret with remorse

Let me quit the fight, I'm ready to die

Ready, ready to die

Ready, ready to

Ready, ready, ready to die

Ready to die

I'm ready, ready ready

I wanted freedom, in my religion

By the time it happened, I was gone

I wanted my life, you weren't inside

By the time you showed up, it was at my gravestone

So grab me

Shake me

Still can't wake me up

I've fallen into  the other side

It was quick

I felt sick

No regret or remorse

Quit the fight

I was ready to die

To die, die, die

To die, to die, to die

I was ready, I was ready

To die, to die, to die

I was ready to die

I was ready to die

I was ready to die

I was ready...to..die

Goodbye

**Disclaimer:  This is strictly a poem.  In this moment, it is just words that need to be said . . . **

I need to scream
I don't know my wants
Maybe I want to leave . . .
Maybe I want to suffer . . .
Whatever it is, I want to do it alone

I have to get out
Before I strangle my only positive voice into submission
Force myself to give into my own demise
Just to get away from those who try and break me

I won't let them do it --
It's my life

If I want to escape, I shall
It's only when . . . 
When my melancholy dredges up, and I have only one option . . .

GOODBYE

Inspiration comes from Dedication

Wow, I can honestly say, this Act II revision is going insane.  And definitely in a good way.  I am scraping so many of my original material, and starting fresh -- just in time to hit SEND and submit my very last assignment for my Third MFA semester.  I have been given such a huge push of motivation, after hearing of my Mentor's Writing Binge.  I'm guessing that's the way I'm going to attack my Fall Residency manuscripts -- which are soon approaching.  Two new files to send, and then it's back to reading hundreds and hundreds of pages of scripts, prose and whatnot.  AWESOME.  I'm beyond stoked.  In exactly five weeks I'll be on another adventure.  One that I've been waiting for, for such a long time.  Now, back to work.  Because I get my cues from my Mentor -- I'm only taking this short break, and then it's back to finishing this assignment, even stronger than I started!

Leaving

Shutting down.  Running away.  Where?  I don't know.  Sometimes it's just that easy:  just to get on a bike and go.  Go anywhere.  And anywhere but here is where you want.  It can take any amount of frustration to push you towards a limit.  I've hit many limits, and at times I just wanted to quit.  But then I look into the skies, and see a few birds fly by.  And then there's that one lonesome looking bird, passionately soaring into another direction . . . That's where I want to be.  That's where I see myself.  Not following other peoples ideas as to what they think I should be doing. Or who I should be.  Not breathing in their unwanted energy.  Just going it alone.  Blissfully floating.  Immersed in my own fascination.  However bizarre -- mine at least.


I dream about escapism.  Traveling so far, no one can catch me.  Being away for so long, no one remembers me.  And yet I do want to be remembered:  for taking a chance; for letting my feelings melt away; for trying; for leaving.  Damaged thoughts, huh?  But that's what I mildly contemplate:  leaving.

 

Even when there are amazingly happy moments, I'm still not all there.  I'm thinking of another place.  Any place.  Surrounded by nothing but nature.  And maybe it sounds isolated.  Maybe anti-social.  Who cares!  That's where I'm at.  Forcing myself to snap out of it.  But hoping no one notices, so that I can feel free.  Away from it all.  Away from them all.

For Good

Sometimes disappearing and getting away, is meant for good . . . Sometimes the only way to handle something, is to wander off into nothingness . . . To make NO apologies for letting go . . .

Pushing the Pedal(s)

Another day of Insanity.  Another day with a new-ish workout regiment, including supplements.  And another day of pushing myself to the limit, by including way more cardio than I should have ever thought of doing.  Not that I can't get it done.  But, after already doing one hour of Insanity and extra exercises that I've created, I decide to go for a 15 mile bike ride.  Granted the morning workouts give me so much needed energy to get through the day -- biking in heat with the sun baring down on me . . . Not the smartest thing to do.  Still, I feel great.  That is until I reach those HILLS.  The capitalization is what I feel when I lay eyes on them:  the death incline.  :-o  It's as if I begin to lose my energy just by glancing at the steepness.  At points I sit up higher, and push down even harder on the pedals.  Going.  Moving.  Getting a distance.  But then something happens.  I realize the wind is beginning to blow -- right at me.  So, I push harder.  Until I feel my tendons arguing with me.  Yes, my muscles talk.  Maybe I should listen?  :-p

I continue, but at a different pace.  I decide to move one pedal at a time.  This time, not overly exerting myself.  Yet in the process, I have absolutely NO speed, therefore I am almost at the point of going backwards down the incline.  So instead of making the partial trek almost unbearable, I just get off and walk the half way uphill, until I reach the top.  And after I get there, it's downhill AWESOMENESS.  That is, until I get to a driveway or blind spot area, where I know I'll have to quickly slow down, losing my speed, cut my thrill, and STOP.  Hoping my brakes get the memo, and do just that.  15 miles to accomplish, and I know on the way back, it's another set of hills.  And maybe even more sun.  Maybe I should have opted to just bike to the gym and do indoor cycling.  But there's just something about being out on the open road (minus the cars), iPod of bikeable tunes, and a clear mind.  There's something about losing yourself in the knowledge that you're just going for a ride.  Even if you've traveled that same path many times before, there's still a possibility of something new.  And who knows, you might just discover a new path.

So, you keep going.  Letting the road, wind, and music take you where you feel like going.  And after those 15 miles and early morning workouts, you feel like going, once more.

Out with the Old

I guess my high school reunion is going to be happening soon . . . Well, relatively soon, as in a few years.  I use to be under the impression one was to think about going to these things.  Like we were all waiting to see one another and catch up.  However, because of multiple social networking sites, there's really no need to go to one.  Granted it's a personal and face-to-face connection versus online communication -- still, hasn't one learned enough from the people they are waiting to meet up with?  Older people use to speak of how they hadn't seen their classmates for over 10+ years and how excited they were to be in the same room, again.  And that got me thinking:  Do I really want to waste my time being there?  Not that I wouldn't gain anything from attending.  I'm sure if I worked hard at trying, I could get something out of being there.  But unfortunately, there are no mysteries of reuniting with people whom you already know most things about.  Again, not that I'm saying everyone discusses EVERYTHING about themselves, and then posts that online -- but the majority of people who might attend, you've already been filled in with their life journey:  children, married, married with children, school, working, graduating, getting close to graduating, etc.  There aren't really that many other options, besides the human inevitable; ceasing to exist.

Welp, I guess that's my venting for now.  I'm going to go ahead and retreat from this blog, and get back to what I need to focus on:  Revisions and Submissions.  Oh, and hitting SEND.  I promise that in  the next blog, I'll be more forgiving . . .  :-p

Happy for Jinkx

I just had to post a video I found on YouTube, pertaining to my favorite Drag Superstar (besides RuPaul), whom just recently took the title of the newest Drag Superstar from RuPaul's Drag Race.  I have been a fan of Jinkx Monsoon's for so long, so watching these videos (I'm only including one -- go watch the others too :-p) gave me another reason to smile for her win!  Yay, Jinkx!  :-)

Submissions

There's just one major assignment left to SEND . . .

Where'd that come from?

I've been doing Insanity for a few weeks now, and I can honestly say I'm seeing results. Not only have I become even more energetic (if that is at all possible), but I've also realized bruising on my arms (I don't like tanning, so it's extremely noticeable). Now, with the inclusion of my newest workout, diet and overall fitness changes, I'm a bit confused as to how these bruises are forming, especially when I don't feel them . . . I MUST figure this out, before my arm turns into one giant red bruise.

What am I up to these days?

Almost a year has passed . . .

 

Almost a year has passed since I posted a video on any social networking site.  Not that I have stopped making music -- I have just been preoccupied.  But not to worry (listeners of mine), I still write music and perform, so be on the look out for new material within the next few weeks.  This is going to be a very productive few months, all leading up to another MAJOR journey, which I am beyond excited for.  And yes, I will post about it, at a later date.  So for now, PLEASE enjoy my music, "Revising The Days," which is what I wrote after my last June Residency in Cambridge, MA.  Geez, just hearing it again, takes me back to the emotion I felt when writing/performing it.  I hope you all enjoy. 

 

P.S.  Listen with you ears AND your heart.  :-)

 

Much Love,

 

~Kyra C.