Leaving

Shutting down.  Running away.  Where?  I don't know.  Sometimes it's just that easy:  just to get on a bike and go.  Go anywhere.  And anywhere but here is where you want.  It can take any amount of frustration to push you towards a limit.  I've hit many limits, and at times I just wanted to quit.  But then I look into the skies, and see a few birds fly by.  And then there's that one lonesome looking bird, passionately soaring into another direction . . . That's where I want to be.  That's where I see myself.  Not following other peoples ideas as to what they think I should be doing. Or who I should be.  Not breathing in their unwanted energy.  Just going it alone.  Blissfully floating.  Immersed in my own fascination.  However bizarre -- mine at least.


I dream about escapism.  Traveling so far, no one can catch me.  Being away for so long, no one remembers me.  And yet I do want to be remembered:  for taking a chance; for letting my feelings melt away; for trying; for leaving.  Damaged thoughts, huh?  But that's what I mildly contemplate:  leaving.

 

Even when there are amazingly happy moments, I'm still not all there.  I'm thinking of another place.  Any place.  Surrounded by nothing but nature.  And maybe it sounds isolated.  Maybe anti-social.  Who cares!  That's where I'm at.  Forcing myself to snap out of it.  But hoping no one notices, so that I can feel free.  Away from it all.  Away from them all.