"Bitterly"

So, it's almost forty minutes past 2am and yes, I am still awake . . . Well, it's apparent, since I am writing this blog.  Anywho, I've been awake, getting phone calls and watching episodes of season one of Grey's Anatomy, because I need to catch up on everything I've ever missed before the new season begins on September 22, 2011.  By that time, I'll have moved onto what I hope is the best place for me - Anywhere but MI.  But more importantly, my newest venture to my future.  This past week was somewhat gratifying, because I had the chance to visit home and my family and there were NO funerals.  Most times I come home to be surrounded by family, someone's lying in a casket, so this was a breath of fresh air.  Well, mostly fresh air.

It's strange how out of your element one can become, when around certain people - that was what I was feeling at specific moments while I was at my family BBQ that my sister hosted.  I felt strange, not just because I had never "hung out" with most of them before (mostly because they're all older than me), but because I felt as if I was not fully apart of their group nor did I want to jeopardize myself for trying too hard to become.  There were many moments when all I could do to feel sane, was to distance myself from the thought  of what was taking place, which is one of the main reasons I sometimes dissociate from some people.  From the obsessive and excessive usage of the "N" word, blaring profane rap music to smoking and drinking . . . I just knew I was out of place, but the only thing I could do was watch and make sure nothing bad happened, because I was the only one sober (mind and body) - who could determine real confrontation.

Needless to say I was happier, earlier when everyone was sober and more relieved when I returned back to my third place of solace (1.  my habitat and 2.  my environment).

So, yeah, that was an eventful time, which I am thrilled to say, I survived, of course. :-p

Still awake and listening to some great singer/songwriters and pulling musical inspiration from them, as I attempt to lie down and take a nap, because I will be awake in less than seven hours . . . It's meeting day  and more workouts in store, because I managed to miss my evening one.  Bummer! :-(

Well, after this song ends, it's back to another episode of Grey's Anatomy and then, maybe some napping time . . . One can only hope.

Peace Out Dudes,

~Kyra C.